Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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