she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
