Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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