Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i will never coherently bang her
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
