we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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