Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
