$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Mom said you looked used
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
