hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
