Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The air was thick with penises
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
