I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
