hotel room ftw
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
