i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
