whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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