Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
