I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
