Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
