May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
