Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
