I looked at my own cervix.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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