So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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