haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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