He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
