I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
