So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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