I want to stick my p in your. b.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
