yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
