Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's rum buckets o'clock
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
