i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
