she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
