Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
