I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i love accidental penises.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
