I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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