I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
