READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
