Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize