Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
