I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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