I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
