Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize