I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
