there's paper in my vomit.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
