bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
