I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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