I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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