Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
