Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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