i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
