how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
