i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
