This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
