Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
